Before I dive into the legend, spear in
hand and clear disappointment in my heart, let me first give you a glimpse into
who SUPERMAN/The Man of Steel (here in referred to as MOS), really is;
· Birthdates; MOS' general given is February 29th. Clark
Kent's is June 18th, the day his rocket landed on Earth. Good luck to any that
share these dates
· When first created he was a bald telepath who wanted world
domination, remind you of anyone?
· First appearance was in Action Comics in 1938 but learnt how to
fly in 1941! HEHE
· The Creators sold the rights to MOS in return for a
measly $130 in 1938. There is an on-going legal battle in attempt to void this
contract. The saga continues
· Clark Kent and MOS have been seen together. Take a minute here.
· Batman owns MOS, well, owns Lois and Clark. Bought their apartment
as a gift to them and also bought the Daily planet where they both work.
· The producers wanted to have James Earl Jones to play Perry White
in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. But the studio
and advertisers flushed this idea, because America wasn't ready for a black
Perry White.
· Up to 7 people have played MOS. One died shortly after,
another was paralysed in a tragic accident, and all have been unable
to shake the close association with the role and swing it into an
A-list career. Good luck Cavill cause success seems to be wrapped in a big
Kyptonite bow.
Now to the Movie, mad props for the
fight scenes in amazing 3D, I mean these clowns just took the entire MARVEL and
downloaded it into DC’s MOS. Leaves me wondering what the next HULK, Thor or
Iron Man fight scenes will be left with. (Yes I understand the differences btn
Marvel and DC)
Let me explain, we had the Hulk figure in
the form of one of Zod’s minoins who lead the massive out of this world ass
whopping on the MOS. We had the suits the flights the gods from other worlds,
the wormholes falling buildings tornadoes and much more! The next Thor/Hulk
might have to be set in the Sahara desert cause of on-going repairs in the US
of A. #MOS4EVER
Now that the pat on the back is out of the
way we can scream, WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY DOING??
1. LADIES FIRST; Lois Lane, it’s delightful
that she is blonde this time round and Ironically brilliant as she solves the
CLARK–SUPERMAN riddle that had plagued her predecessors, however, this MOS-
Lois love falls out of the sky and into our laps like one of them was locked in
a tower since birth, no chemistry no sparks no passion whatsoever, King Kong
and Fay Ray had a better connection than these two! And she gets a ride onto
the spaceship on Zod’s orders, for what? She randomly appears everywhere MOS
goes, how? The brief moment Clark and Lana had in the school bus was more
hopeful than Lois' run around for the MOS.
2. FAR STAR; Krypton, home of the MOS, we
realised that the entire genetic code of the people from this lost home was
embedded in the MOS’ DNA by his father Jor El, Jor El also created a Chip of
sorts that would ensure the continued survival of their race on Earth, he lets
His Son know of these plans and the entire plot just falls to nothing after
this! Did Jor El side with Zod to an extent but disagree on the annihilation of
the human race? Did he leave it to his son to decide the fate or both races?
If the latter (The most obvious choice) is true MOS didn’t understand the
options the same way NEO’s earlier versions couldn’t comprehend the destruction
of ZION. He fights more to keep his fallen race in oblivion than to save his
new home! A lose-lose scenario. He destroys the original Chip and the mother
ship all at once without a second thought; he even goes on to say ‘Krypton had
its chance!’ I mean this chap was fighting so hard to make sure Krypton and the
Kryptonian’s would never have a chance in hell of ever re-spawning. It is one
thing to fight Zod and his bullies, but do so by finishing off every bit of who
you are is another thing.
3. DEATH CLASP; Superman NEVER kills, that’s
his number 1 rule, thou I love the fact that he went ape for a moment there,
4. BACK TO SCHOOL PROMO; Every story has to
have a down moment, that part of the movie when you suddenly realise that maybe
the writers have truly fncked us and let the hero die. The feeling you had when
u saw the Spartans or Marv from Sin City bite the dust, when all hope is lost
and only shock, hate, anger and disbelief remains – there was none of this. If
It was good enough for Bruce when he entered the Dragon it’s good enough for
the MOS. Anyway, it’s from this moment that a hero is Reborn – better, stronger,
wiser, and it is this ability to overcome all the bad guy throws at him that
makes him the HERO. Not the cape or the Blonde but brilliant unromantic reporter,
not the gravity defying sound barrier breaking flight, it’s this simple formula.
Example; Superman Returns (hated by most
but loved by the few with brains left) when Superman fly’s to Krypton on earth courtesy
of MR. Luther, he is beated like a rabid dog on the streets on mbale to just an
inch of his life, stabbed with a Krytonite blade deep into his side and in
classic villan blunder, left to die in the Ocean – long story short the man is
saved, Kryptonite removed from side and without hesitation, he flys back for
round 2. The determination, the confidence, the SACRIFICE!!
Anyway without saying much, this is my
diagnosis of the Movie I waited for, woke up at 7am to buy a ticket and waited
in line for an hour to see, will I see it again… Yes, TOMORROW!!
