Hex-Men: Aflopalypse
I think I have had
enough. Why do they do these things to us, why? X-Men:
Apocalypse, the most recent flop
in the X-Men sequels. Why is it so hard to use your imagination to create
something unimaginable? By this point I shouldn’t be watching a movie and going
‘they should have done this, they should have done that’ but here we are and
now, forced to help you understand what should and shouldn’t have happened!
But before this, the man
to shoot is Bryan Singer – Directed X-Men 1&2, X-Men Origins (Wolverine), X-Men: Days of Future past, as well as this
recent catastrophe X-Men: Apocalypse.
Oh but he is not done making things bad for us, he also intends to Produce
X-Men the TV show #SadFace!
What
should/shouldn’t have happened
- The children, oh the children!
When you put so many children into these grownup things and it becomes
less of an action movie (that we paid money to see) and more of an
adventure fantasy like Narnia or the Never Ending Story! Action level was
at 40/100. Sure they can blame it on the PG-13 age rating, but so were the
Batman and Bourne sequels, so?
- How many times is Byran going to raid the
X-Men mansion to steal children, seriously? They did it in X-men 2 and
again in X-Men Apocalypse! See what I mean by ‘use your imagination to
create something unimaginable?’ These people are simply reverting to
memory and drawing up ideas from archives. Sad!
- Apocalypse Midget – Dear owner
and management of Hollywood, please take away Bryan’s license to kill
movies that we love! Apocalypse, on average, is about 7 feet tall however
he can grow to substantially greater heights at will. So who is this
midget in oversized boots and outfit? Just tell me this cause I don’t
think Frodo or any of the Baggins were ever part of the Marvel Universe.
Why?
- Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
– The mere sound of this lets you know that these guys are not here to
play games. If you remember your bible, these Horsemen where Death, Famine, War & Conquest! So
in all honesty what the hell is a guy called Angel doing in this place?
Storm and Psylocke should have been left out too for real. From a long
range of deadly/frightening characters in Marvel, is this the worst you
could come up with? Besides Magneto, the original Badman, here are some
Characters that could have played the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
o Rogue – Whatever
happened to this great character?
o Gambit – Would have been
a perfect time to introduce this character as well as show a little of the
on-off romance with Rogue
o Mimic – although this
one might need a short movie of his own.
o Sabretooth – A beast VS
Sabretooth fight would be one to watch. Think revenant but imagine DiCaprio
could actually fight back!
· Wolverine fight scene – I have come to realize that Hollywood does
not understand who/what Wolverine is! I mean, this 137 year old guy has been
through Hell in his lifetime and even actually been to Hell, yes the real Hell,
possessed by demons and what not. In short he is a really pissed off animal –
the stuff of horror movies and camp fire stories! I mean, Hugh Jackman was more
animal in Van Helsing than we are seeing here. And to top it off, he has
military training, a master of virtually all forms of martial arts and
will sometimes lapse into a ‘berserker rage’ while in close combat. In
this state he lashes out with the intensity and aggression of an enraged
animal. Now with some of these pointers on hand, watch those scene again, this
guys is slow and just growling around while he slices here and stabs there.
Where is the skill, where is the real animal! We shall talk about what Bryan did wrong in the
other Wolverine movies another time.
All in all, I think Bryan Singer should stick to
drama or quit producing movies all in all. If he chooses to stay in action, get
an action director and hire staff that actually read comics!
