Hex-Men: Aflopalypse
I think I have had
enough. Why do they do these things to us, why? X-Men:
Apocalypse, the most recent flop
in the X-Men sequels. Why is it so hard to use your imagination to create
something unimaginable? By this point I shouldn’t be watching a movie and going
‘they should have done this, they should have done that’ but here we are and
now, forced to help you understand what should and shouldn’t have happened!
But before this, the man
to shoot is Bryan Singer – Directed X-Men 1&2, X-Men Origins (Wolverine), X-Men: Days of Future past, as well as this
recent catastrophe X-Men: Apocalypse.
Oh but he is not done making things bad for us, he also intends to Produce
X-Men the TV show #SadFace!
What
should/shouldn’t have happened
- The children, oh the children!
When you put so many children into these grownup things and it becomes
less of an action movie (that we paid money to see) and more of an
adventure fantasy like Narnia or the Never Ending Story! Action level was
at 40/100. Sure they can blame it on the PG-13 age rating, but so were the
Batman and Bourne sequels, so?
- How many times is Byran going to raid the
X-Men mansion to steal children, seriously? They did it in X-men 2 and
again in X-Men Apocalypse! See what I mean by ‘use your imagination to
create something unimaginable?’ These people are simply reverting to
memory and drawing up ideas from archives. Sad!
- Apocalypse Midget – Dear owner
and management of Hollywood, please take away Bryan’s license to kill
movies that we love! Apocalypse, on average, is about 7 feet tall however
he can grow to substantially greater heights at will. So who is this
midget in oversized boots and outfit? Just tell me this cause I don’t
think Frodo or any of the Baggins were ever part of the Marvel Universe.
Why?
- Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
– The mere sound of this lets you know that these guys are not here to
play games. If you remember your bible, these Horsemen where Death, Famine, War & Conquest! So
in all honesty what the hell is a guy called Angel doing in this place?
Storm and Psylocke should have been left out too for real. From a long
range of deadly/frightening characters in Marvel, is this the worst you
could come up with? Besides Magneto, the original Badman, here are some
Characters that could have played the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
o Rogue – Whatever
happened to this great character?
o Gambit – Would have been
a perfect time to introduce this character as well as show a little of the
on-off romance with Rogue
o Mimic – although this
one might need a short movie of his own.
o Sabretooth – A beast VS
Sabretooth fight would be one to watch. Think revenant but imagine DiCaprio
could actually fight back!
· Wolverine fight scene – I have come to realize that Hollywood does
not understand who/what Wolverine is! I mean, this 137 year old guy has been
through Hell in his lifetime and even actually been to Hell, yes the real Hell,
possessed by demons and what not. In short he is a really pissed off animal –
the stuff of horror movies and camp fire stories! I mean, Hugh Jackman was more
animal in Van Helsing than we are seeing here. And to top it off, he has
military training, a master of virtually all forms of martial arts and
will sometimes lapse into a ‘berserker rage’ while in close combat. In
this state he lashes out with the intensity and aggression of an enraged
animal. Now with some of these pointers on hand, watch those scene again, this
guys is slow and just growling around while he slices here and stabs there.
Where is the skill, where is the real animal! We shall talk about what Bryan did wrong in the
other Wolverine movies another time.
All in all, I think Bryan Singer should stick to
drama or quit producing movies all in all. If he chooses to stay in action, get
an action director and hire staff that actually read comics!
I couldn't agree with u more about the mispotrayal of apocalypse.He was, supposed to be bigger than every1 and supposed to be able to grow in the real world and not only in people's minds like we were made to believe in this movie. He also was a lot more manipulative and tricky than they made him seem. The apocalypse from the comics was always the 1 ahead of every1 else. He shudda been the 1 misleading every1 else only 4 the xmen to realise that the man behind the curtain was actually Apocalypse. Also about magneto being the only suitable horseman ur right again. And as 4 the luck of focus on gambit or the romance btn him and rogue, that's just another thing to show u that whoever makes these movies is not a comic book or xmen fan to be more specific. Any true xmen fan will mention gambit's name right next to wolverine when they are talking about their favourite characters. His playboy and cavalier attitude wudda been fun to see in a movie. Its no wonder that apart from wolverine its gambit that psychlops always had a problem trusting. The fact that they've never given him enough time in all of the 5 or more xmen movies is beyond me. Oh and also your doesn't rogue have the super strength and ability to fly that she got from miss Marvel??? As for the wolverine scene,ur the 1 that has opened my eyes to this 1. I had actually allowed that they had tried but now that u mention it, there cudda been more skill involved. Where were the air flips, tactical dodging, occasional stealth mode and droppin on an enemy etc that wolverine has in his wide range skill set. Almost every enemy that fired a weapon managed to hit him. We know he has the healing ability but that's just supposed to be an extra. But here they made him seem like if u took away his claws and healing ability, he' just an angry man! All in all, Oscar, I thank u my good sir for pointing out who's to blame for the mediocre movies that have desecrated the 'Marvels X-men' that so many of us grew up knowing and loving. That 'Bryan' fellow really needs to do his homework!
ReplyDeleteGlad you agree! Now, I'm getting many requests to say something about SupermanVS Batman. Look for that!
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